Love Q And

In college, I would spend most of my time “studying” for classes like “science” and “math” by doodling in spiral notebooks.  Rather than pictures, I would doodle with words.  I would write whatever came to mind, often not conscious of the words I was putting on the page.  The connection was practiced and  smooth—a steady, reliable stream of consciousness.   

The product of one such self-guided exercise—save for my failing grade in “math”—was a page of love questions. 

No, really. 

Certainly sparked by a song lyric, I spouted all of the quesitons I had of love, innocently exploring what love meant to me.  I say innocently, because up until that point in my life, I hadn't given the idea of love much thought. 

I was a wildly unattached college student who scoffed at the dating game.  My philosophy: dating was a job interview for marriage.  If you weren’t ready to get married, then why bother with the job interview?  I saw dating as a way to get hurt.  All relationships, in theory, would end except for one… and that one was unlikely Mr. Frat-tard who kicked my chair in Anthropology class daily to tell me that he forgot his pen, would need to borrow mine, and would only give it back if I came over to his beer drenched frat-tard-cave to help him study. <cough><cough> <ASSWIPE> <cough>

I bring this up because today is Valentine’s Day.  A day for love, for lovers, for love haters, and for love needers.  I thought I’d share those questions I had about love, over a half a decade ago.  As I re-read my mental doodles, I realize I continue to have many of the same thoughts.  Without editing the orginal, or explaining what I was thinking at the time (because I can’t even be sure), here you go: 

Do you believe in love… the creation of an unceasing bond?  Do you believe you can care for someone deeply and completely, forever?  Can someone love you for just as long?  Will I recognize it when it happens--after a few empty words and shaped cynicism?  Are acts worth loving, or does the act only matter if it is acted by a person worth loving?  How long can a person go without love?  How far can a person travel with love under their wing?  How has love created me and shaped my world view?  Are there any aspects of my life that have gone untouched by love?  Where will love find me?  If I am too busy, will love wait for me to slow down?  Is love a destination, or a grand tour?  How many days can you love in a row?  Is love quantitative?  Is love qualitative?  Does love see through walls, or rather, around corners?  How many pieces of like do you need to make a love?  Is love constructed with Elmer’s glue and colored paper?  If love can heal, can it injure?  If it can cure, can it infect?  Who is telling me that all I need is love?  Should I listen?  Will love knock or ring the doorbell?  Or just come on in, like an old friend?  Is love an old friend?  Will I feel comfortable with love, like a girlfriend and a cup of coffee?  Does love inspire?  Or, does the absence or imperfections of love inspire?   Is God’s love like my love?  Am I able to love that flawlessly?  Can love be flawed?  Is it ever one person’s fault, or is flawed love dependent on all involved?  Why is there only one word for love?  With so many levels, divisions, varieties of love… how can we accurately explain how we feel with one, all-encompassing word?  Is love worth examining?  Has its charm been lost?  Have I analyzed too far, leaving nothing to wonder, no mystery?  Or is love’s mystery unceasing, by definition?